


;^)))))))

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [7]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Hercules is never here as much as I'd like him to be, Modern AU, Multi, Texting, anyway, implied nonbinary!lafayette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 14:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6474412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>laf: maybe she's born with it </p><p>laf: maybe itS THE PATRIARCHY</p>
            </blockquote>





	;^)))))))

**little lion** : today I learned that hercules uses talk to text for everything

 **more like HUNKules** : not eVERYTHING

 **more like HUNKules** : literally nothing in this group chat considering the amount of SIN that frequents it

 **little lion** : that was the first time you have typed something out in the past two hours

 **more like HUNKules** : it's because I haVE BIG HANDS OKAY

 **little lion** : S T I LL

 **more like HUNKules** : THIS IS BULLYING 

 **little lion** : wow

\---

 **laf** : Aladdin

 **johnn** : not this again

 **laf** : but the genie is the jeanie

 **laf** : he is completely made of jeans

 **laf** : he can only grant jean wishes

 **laf** : jeans

 **johnn** : I don't know how to respond

 **laf** : an offer to put it in production would be nice

 **johnn** : who hurt you

 **laf** : GOD TO BE QUITE HONEST

\---

 **little lion** : milk duds are gROSS

 **laf** : TAKE IT BACK

 **little lion** : N E V ER R R

 **laf** : THE WEDDING IS OFF

 **little lion** : LAF PLEASE

 **laf** : INDEFINITELY

 **little lion** : L A F

 **johnn** : is this what happens when I actually do work

 **little lion** : probably

\---

 **little lion:** help me

 **johnn** : ?????

 **johnn** : WHA T S WRONG

 **johnn** : ARE YOU OKAY

 **little lion** : physically I'm fine

 **little lion** : emotionally I'm bruised

 **johnn** : wHA T

 **little lion** : I am at lunch with laf

 **johnn** : oh you told me

 **little lion** : siX boys have hit on them and we have been here for TWENTY MINUTES

 **johnn** : THIS IS WHY WE NEED TO GET OUR ENGAGEMENT RINGS ASAP

 **little lion** : ITS NOT THAT LITERALLY ITS JSUT

 **little lion** : LAFAYETFE IS MURD ER I N G THEM WITH REJECTION

 **laf** : it's really not that bad 

 **little lion** : boy #2: *clearly sweating* "hi"  
laf: *snorts* "bye"  
boy #2: *sweATING LOUDER* "oh uhm"  
laf: "did you not hear me? bYE"  
boy #2. "oh, bye" *WALKS AWAY ALMOST IN TEARS*

 **johnn** : B R U T A L

 **laf** : I DID NOT SNORT

 **little lion** : YOU DID AND EVEN I FELT MY OWN NOSTRILS CONTRACT

 **laf** : ALE X

 **little lion** : THAT WASNT EVEN THE WORST ONE

 **johnn** : I WOULD LITERALLY TRADE MY SOUL TO BE ABLE TO BE THERE

 **laf** : I AM NOT INTERESTED IN DATING ANY MORE PEOPLE NOR AM I INTERESTED IN THESE GROSSES

 **johnn** : WE UNDERSTAND THAT BUT THEY D ON T

 **johnn** : wait

 **johnn** : what did you think of us when we started dating

 **laf** : we all started dating because you came into our dorm room where all three of us were and you were crying saying that we needed to get it together and date each other before we die alone

 **little lion** : I believe his exact words were "I know none of us are stupid enough to not see how in love we are with each other so we all need to get our shit together and make out before we all graduate college and die without each other" and then we couldn't even kiss you because you were blubbering

 **johnn** : I WAS N O T BLUBBERING

 **johnn:** AND IF I WAS IT WAS MANLY BLUBBERING 

 **little lion** : there was a lot of mucus 

 **johnn** : AND WITHOUT THAT NIGHT WE WOULDNT BE DATING AT ALL OR GETTING MARRIED SO

 **johnn** : YOU'RE WELCOME

 **little lion** : thx bby

 **johnn** : lisTEN HERE

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : what are we doing this week

 **laf** : we have to go for our wedding suits

 **more like HUNKules** : I don't understand why you wont let me make our suitS

 **laf** : because you aren't allowed to make your own suit for your own wedding that's tacky

 **more like HUNKules** : probably not

 **laf** : also because you're two days behind on all of your orders

 **more like HUNKules** : I thought you were wearing a dress

 **laf** : I was going to but they're sO MUCH MONEY

 **more like HUNKules** : what if I made your dress though

 **laf** : N O

 **laf** : wait maybe if you finish all of your orders first

 **more like HUNKules:** how do you even know I'm behind

 **laf** : you came home late, collapsed on the couch, and then screamed into the cushions

 **more like HUNKules** : you weren't even in the room when that happened

 **laf** : it's a small apartment hon

 **more like HUNKules** : yeah okay true

 **more like HUNKules** : so other than that what are we doing this week

 **laf** : ???

 **johnn** : I have a dentist appointment tomorrow if that does anything for you

 **more like HUNKules** : ,,,,,what would that do for me

 **johnn** : ;^)))))))

 **more like HUNKules** : ANYWAY

 **little lion** : I have to go to john's dentist appointment with john because he's a wimp

 **johnn** : I am NOT

 **little lion** : the time before last time you almost broke my hand with how hard you were squeezing it

 **johnn** : that time I had to get a filling

 **little lion** : ???

 **little lion** : what do you think you're getting done this time

 **johnn** : my checkup

 **little lion** : you mean the checkup you got two weeks ago where they said you needed to get another filling done

 **johnn** : NO

\---

 **little lion** : we're at the dentist

 **little lion** : my hand is sweating in fear

 **more like HUNKules** : good luck

 **johnn** : don't use fear to justify your sweaty palms

 **little lion** : excuse me

 **laf** : true

 **little lion** : EXCUSE ME

\---

 **little lion** : the dentist is sticking his hands into john's mouth and john looks so fucking awkward I wish I could take a picture of this and frame it

 **laf** : you have a phone with a carnera

 **little lion** : RIGHT

 **laf:** godspeed

\---

 **johnn** : that was painful and I'm tired

 **little lion** : alex is driving this is john

 **little lion** : he told me to tell you that I cried but I diDNT

 **more like HUNKules** : I'll be home soon to help laf and alex take care of you

 **johnn** : I love you all

 **more like HUNKules** : we love you too

 **more like HUNKules** : but like how high are you right now

 **johnn** :,,,,,

 **johnn** : ONLY ON LIFE HERCULES

 **more like HUNKules** : yeah we're gonna have to wait this out with you aren't we

 **johnn** : yOU BET YOUR ASS YOU WILL

 **more like HUNKules** : in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit amen

 **laf** : you're going straight to bed the second you get home

 **johnn** : YOU CANT STOP THIS PARENT

 **laf** : oh yeS I CAN

 **laf** : BESIDES ITS NOT LIKE YOU HAVE ANY ADVANTAGE

 **johnn** : I HAVE THE ADVANTAGE OF BEING REALLY FUCKING CUTE

 **laf** : yes true but all of us are also very cute

 **johnn** : fuc k you're right

 **johnn** : I'm outnumbered

 **johnn** : okay I'll go to bed

 **laf** : *finger guns*

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : YOU ARE N O T SLEEPING

 **more like HUNKules** : I did come home two hours late I should've expected this

\---

 **johnn** : why does hercules act like he doesn't have sex with us regularly

 **little lion** : because he's still trying to cling onto the last fragment of his purity

 **more like HUNKules** : NO ITS BECAUSE MOST OF THE TIME IM LITERALLY NOT THERE

 **more like HUNKules** : AND WHEN THE FIRST THING I HEAR WHEN I GET HOME IS SCREAMING ITS NOT NECESSARILY THE CUTEST THING

 **little lion:** I

 **little lion** : yeah that's fair

\---

 **laf:** maybe she's born with it

 **laf** : maybe itS THE PATRIARCHY

\---

 **johnn** : what if we all had as many names as laf

 **johnn** : but they were all the same name

 **laf** : what

 **johnn** : john-john john john john john du john, marquis de laurens

 **laf** : I don't think you understand how names work dear

 **johnn** : john to the seventh power

 **laf** : end it

\---

 **little lion** : what's our color scheme for the wedding

 **laf** : we are all wearing black

 **little lion** : okay but,,,,pastel yellow

 **laf** : no

 **johnn** : never

 **more like HUNKules** : yellow is not your color for starters

 **little lion** : ughguhuhgughughguhugh fine

 **laf** : you're kidding right

 **little lion** : IT WOULDNT BE THAT BAD

 **laf** : OUR WEDDING ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE "NOT THAT BAD"

 **laf** : IT HAS TO BE FANTASTIC

 **laf** : DRAMATIC

 **more like HUNKules** : SYSTEMATIC

 **johnn** : HYDROMATIC

 **more like HUNKules** : ULTRAMATIC

 **johnn** : WHY IT COULD BE GREASED LIGHTNING

 **laf** : hmu @ sweet embrace of death

 **little lion** : I

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be uploaded before midnight but I am full of chinese food and empty promises


End file.
